 Louise
and I have worked with groups of homeless
men in regard to their money issues. What a fabulous
way to gain greater understanding of the core of
people's money conflicts. The first question I asked
myself was: why do these men remain homeless when
shelter is a primary need for survival?
Why do people have a problem meeting their needs? Do
they know what their needs are? By the time a person
leaves home one would hope they had learned how to
feed, clothe and shelter themselves, be informed
about sex and money and how to have physical and
emotional nurturing from others. Otherwise balance
is at risk.
Most of us are able to feed, clothe and shelter
ourselves, BUT are we able to have our physical and
emotional needs met by others? Are you able to ask
for a hug when you need one? Can you tell someone
your problems and have them listen to you without
judgement, pity or them giving you advice?
Human beings are feeling beings and to be fully
human is to have the experience of the full range of
emotions, from happiness to sadness, from grief and
rage to joy and awe. Emotions, when we take the time
to explore and experience them, are our internal
landscapes, like weather is in the world around us:
ranging from dark and cloudy and stormy to bright
and calm and sunny, constantly changing, rarely the
same for very long.
Most
of us, however, were raised to believe that there
are "good" feelings and "bad" feelings (just as the
weather person predicts "good" and "bad" weather)
and that the successful adult is always happy,
always has good feelings, while the person who fails
at adulthood has had bad feelings and, worst of all,
can't control them.
I have come to understand this conditioning as the
origin of self hatred, because to be taught that
my feelings are bad is the same as being taught that
"I
am bad".
What if you have strong feelings about money? Talk
to someone who understands and can help.
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